Archive for the ‘trust’ Category

The End is Here!

November 17, 2009

How many times have we seen a movie or a TV show with the iconic “crazy” person on a street corner wearing a placard with “The End is Near” scribbled on it? And how many times have we quickly dismissed that person as extreme, ludicrous, ultimately sad? But have you ever gotten the itch that invites you to scratch and see below the surface? What if it was true?

It seems Hollywood has the itch…. really bad. She can’t make the budgets big enough for these gloom and doom dramas about the End of All Things, from Armageddon and Deep Impact to The Day After Tomorrow and last weekend’s latest installment “2012.”
The box office seems to be saying something as well; people love it. People want to see it. It may be out of a morbid desire to see historic landmarks crumple under a 900 foot tsunami, but behind that, I think there’s a bit of good ‘ole fashioned Catholic spirituality at work.
Memento mori, as the saying goes. “Remember death.”
As creepy as it sounds, we’re invited to reflect on our death many times throughout the liturgical year. We’re actually entering into the season for this right now. Advent is beginning, and it is more than just a glance backwards to the Birth of Jesus two thousand years ago. It’s a glance to the future, to the End, when we believe He will return. This story, History, will indeed end… and simultaneously…. begin.
The readings from this week’s Mass matched up quite perfectly with the debut of “2012.” (I wonder if Hollywood was reading the lectionary?)
Jesus said to his disciples: “In those days after that tribulation the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light, and the stars will be falling from the sky, and the powers in the heavens will be shaken. And then they will see ‘the Son of Man coming in the clouds’ with great power and glory, and then he will send out the angels and gather his elect from the four winds, from the end of the earth to the end of the sky.
– Mark 13:24-32

The twist however is that Christians look to this End with, now get this, joyful expectancy. “Lift up your heads, Scripture tells us, for your redemption is near at hand!” Now this doesn’t mean we sit around with hands up high like kids waiting for Daddy to pick them up and take them to his warm chest and carry them home. (Although that sounds like the orans position of prayer and a great way to live to me!) It means we keep our feet on the ground and keep working. And we whistle while we work, too, like little dwarves, keeping the Palace of our hearts clean for the arrival of our King and Queen. St. Francis was once approached by a nervous brother friar, who was a bit stressed about the End and perhaps more so, about his conscience. Francis looked up from the patch of earth he was tending in the garden. “Brother Francis, what if our dear Savior were to return this very day. What would you do!”
“I would keep gardening, until He found me” smiled the saint. Now that’s peace.
For the believer, the End is not at some remote or proximate point, not a number like 2012, or 3012 for that matter. The End is… here, now. The Kingdom of God is within you, here, now. It is already, and not yet. All of the world that we see is simply a veil pulled over the Eternal Now where God abides. Why should we be afraid?
Can the unborn child in its dark and watery womb imagine the vibrant life that moves about just past that veil of mommy’s flesh? Can it be so near and yet seem so distant? Perhaps our End is closer than we think. Maybe our true birthday is about to begin, as it has for the saints. Their death is remembered as their feast day, their birthday into Eternal Life.
In the meantime, as we close off another liturgical year, and step closer to 2010, 2011, and 2012 (wink wink), let’s not panic, let’s pray…. and keep smiling, with our heads and hands busy in the garden of this world, preparing a harvest of good deeds and much love for the World to come.

God "Loves" Me?

November 1, 2009

GOD.
Simply saying this three letter word can conjure up different thoughts for different people these days. Thoughts that perhaps are hard to wrap our heads around, let alone our arms: A Bright Light, billowing clouds, a booming disembodied voice, a Force that is distant and yet somehow accessible, or even a kind of Cosmic Grandpa who some say actually hears us through a thing called prayer.
For others today, the word GOD seems small, antiquated, and irrelevant. Hasn’t science disproved all that supernatural stuff? “We’ve evolved as a species and feel it no longer necessary to have a psychological crutch like GOD to get us through this life.”
Finally, for others, (and this one perplexes the unbeliever to no end) GOD is as close and intimate and personal as, well, a person. God, they say, is above all a Lover, in fact, and He is crazy about us measly humans! So crazy that He came among us and has now and forevermore, a human face, a human heart! These folks believe Divinity married humanity in Jesus, forever.

Our first experience of God is so important, we either experience Him as the police guard that wants to punish or as Creative Love that awaits.

– Pope Benedict XVI

I think in our American culture, so focused on ME that we too often forget about the OTHER, the idea of an objectively real and personal God somehow feels like an affront to our freedom, our reason, and individuality. God? Oh, right. Him again? The Big Landlord? Believing in Him means joining the rank and file and stifling the fun. It means losing your spontaneity and intellectual freedom because every Sunday you have to blindly “pay the rent.” Or pay for “fire insurance,” as some glibly joke. But this is ridiculously simplistic.

In our deepest being we all know that we were not made for laws. We were made for love.

I think this fear of losing ourselves in a love relationship with God is actually keeping us from true freedom. After all, when we close the door to the transcendent, we fail to become fully human. A caged, clipped bird can forget it was designed to fly.
Humans by nature are religious beings, made for the Infinite, made for the Bottomless Mystery of a God Who loves us. We have a longing for this unending love, truth, and a beauty that does not fade. Need proof? Just listen to your own heart’s desires! (or the music of Journey or Foreigner, heh heh). We long to give ourselves to the Infinite, to lose ourselves in Love, but when we close our minds to the idea of it being really real, transcendent, responsive, immanent through grace, then we clip our own wings. Consequently, we discover that we cannot give ourselves fully to anyone.

“Once God is forgotten… the creature itself grows unintelligible.”

– Gaudium et Spes

When we deny or dismiss the Infinite as unreal or irrelevant, we end up eventually stagnating in a pool of boredom. or narcissism, or egocentrism. What is the meaning of life if the source of that Life is dead? We then fall back on ourselves, but without the real power to love, to get beyond ourselves, to transcend. Then we settle on giving part of our hearts but not all, or worse, we go through relationships grasping instead of trusting that love will be given to us.

So where is the truth that will set us free? How can we know if God is real, and really loves me? Read Scripture.

When we’re quiet and alone with that book, we can get some pretty deep thoughts. You might even catch a thought like the one Augustine whispered to himself way back in the 4th century when he cracked open the Scriptures. “The deepest desire of my heart is to see another and to be seen by the Other.”

Is God Love? Is it just Law? Well, ask God. Let Him in, and you’ll discover you have an infinite capacity for Him. And if God is truly a Person, a Communion of Persons, in fact, then how else could we actually know Him unless we let Him into the heart? I don’t think my way through relationships with people, I don’t reason out the issues at stake, mentally prep myself to fall in love. “On September 24, 2009 at precisely 9:37am I will fall in love.” No, I reach out and speak words. I open the mind and let down the guard a bit with the one standing before me. I listen, wait, gaze long and let myself be looked upon. That look builds a relationship. Why should this be any different with God?

Prayer can progress, as a genuine dialogue of love, to the point of rendering the person wholly possessed by the divine Beloved, vibrating at the Spirit’s touch, resting filially within the Father’s heart. This is the lived experience of Christ’s promise: “He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.”

– Pope John Paul II, Novo Millennio Ineunte 33

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Originally published in The Publican

This Week’s Mission Moment – August 24, 2009

August 24, 2009

Bad times make good people, as mountainous pressures make diamonds or as fire tempers steel.
– Dr. Peter Kreeft

Get On

August 5, 2009

Oh this is a poor poor translation of the gift of the man Dave Wilcox and his music…. but behold, through the scratchy, smooshed up digitization of YouTube…. pure gold. I’m using this song for the retreat this weekend in Connecticut. The lyrics are key for so many of us, torn between the war of heart and mind…

…right now I only wish I knew
Where all of this is leading to
I’m working up the courage
As I stand here with your hand in mine
And I’m running out of time

And my heart says, C’mon let’s go
And my mind’s saying, I don’t know
And the train is at the station
But I’m lost in contemplation
And this ticket’s only good for just so long
I can think about it ’til that train is gone
Or just get on


Happy Dependence Day!

July 5, 2009

I think “independence” is overrated. Seriously. So we can vote, drive, use ATMs, and pick up an assortment of wine coolers at the Quickie Mart without question. Big deal! This independence thing has gotten alot of us grownups into heaps of trouble, by the way.

I think we independent adults could learn alot from the little ones here. We have a 10 month old baby boy, and he is radically dependent on us, his parents. He has no worries. No car payments. No mortgage. No meetings, no consequences (until the age of reason of course), and no one cares if he toots in public. In fact, we all think it’s cute. Everything is cute. He is driven, coddled, cared for 24/7. We carry him, change him, feed him, and all he has to do is LET US DO THIS FOR HIM. In other words, be dependent on us…. Let us love him… Receive the gifts of his father and mother and just wallow in their superfluous care. Is anybody thinking what I’m thinking?
This radical “dependence” is the way to go! So I hearby declare this Sunday, the 5th of July…. Dependence Day! Dependence on Our Father Who Art in Heaven for everything. Dependence on our Blessed Mother Mary’s care, who too was and is the model of dependence on the Father.
Let us let them carry, coddle, and care for us in our deepest needs this day.
Isn’t this the goal of freedom anyway? It’s not a gift to be squandered on ourselves, but one to be given back in trust. I love you is ultimately to say “I depend on you. I am under your eyes,
I am lying helpless in your arms. Have your way with me.” Paradoxically, becoming dependent on God is what “liberates” us! The more I receive from Him, the more I depend on Him, the more I can give to my wife and son and the micro-world of persons I encounter in my daily walk. So Happy Dependence Day to all! Dependence on the One from Whom all Freedom flows!

Sea and Believe

June 15, 2009

I love the ocean. It helps me believe in things much larger than me. Transcendent things, eternal things; Beauty, Peace, The Oneness. Ultimately… God.

Standing before the sea this morning, here in cloudy/sunny Sea Isle City, I had a physical encounter with a spiritual truth. The sea became a channel of grace. And that’s the definition of a sacrament, in a very broad sense. I wasn’t alone either. Other daily communicants were gathering for this celebration of the sun, rising in benediction over the new day. Does this sound scandalous? Let’s recall that the world was God’s first church, or Temple, as the Hebrews saw it. In the beginning, we were all priestly in our vocation of praise and worship to the One Who fashioned it all from nothing.

We’ve spent two nights here and are leaving soon. So I had my farewell coffee sitting in the sand, while Rebecca and the wee lad slept. I snapped this picture with the phone, then just stared and listened for a while as the slow, rhythmic beat of the heart of the sea came into me.

Ponderings…

Who was the first ancient soul to build a craft and seek to cross this watery road to the world’s edge? That took some guts.

What is it about the lapping up of water on sand, endlessly, that stirs me, invites me, into endless peace?

I truly believe we’re drawn to the sea because God is still speaking through it; His first sacramental encounter with us. He sings through it’s salty symphony, He shines in the sun!

The Sway, the Truth, and the Life

February 23, 2009

I think when Future Bill looks back on the small number of posts that went up for January and February of 2009, he’ll be smiling.

Smiling because every long stretch of postless days meant the time was wasted on his family. Yes! Wasted. Spilled out like a precious ointment on the feet of his beloved wife and son! Those were the days of grace; of Grace, and the Boy Wonder to be exact.

I’ve written before about the mysterious powers that a child unlocks in a father’s heart, powers that lay dormant like seeds awaiting the water of life. Well, they keep coming. I feel like the Greatest American Hero, Ralph Hinkley. Remember that show? In the series, he was given a “super suit” but lost the Instruction Manual in the desert. The series moved along and Ralph just had to discover how it all worked. Some episodes had him getting the knack of flying down a bit better, one show had him learn how to become invisible. Pretty cool stuff. I’ve already mastered invisibility…. it’s called “peekaboo!”

Yes, every day is an adventure, and every day Rebecca and I are absolutely blown away by the mystery of this little boy. We’re captivated by his smile, the way his face lights up when we look at him, when I come home from work, when he looks around at Sunday Mass at all the faces, and the stained glass, and the marble columns. And how his eyes flash at the sound of the altar bells when Jesus is coming.

A few weeks back, at Mass, I was holding the wee lad, and found myself… swaying. Finally, swaying. Ahead of me, a young couple stood, friends of ours, each holding a child, and swaying. And ahead of them, yet another woman, swaying. Like a forest of trees caught up in a great wind, there we were. Mommies and daddies, caught up in the Wind of the Spirit of Life. For years this sight caused a deep pain in our hearts, and now suddenly, we’ve entered into the Dance… into the Sway, the Truth, and the Life that God wishes all of us to enjoy.

It gives me pause to consider those still waiting, still hoping for the gift of children or of the gift of a spouse to build a life with, and to share a life with too. These are words and experiences to deep for tears. All I can do is hold and treasure this life, appreciating the utter gratuitousness of it all. Everything is a gift, everything is a grace.

The way to begin healing the wounds of the world is to treasure the Infant Christ in us; to be not the castle but the cradle of Christ; and, in rocking that cradle to the rhythm of love, to swing the whole world back into the beat of the Music of Eternal Life.
– Caryll Houselander

“Where Are You?”

February 16, 2009

It’s one of the perennial questions we ask ourselves throughout the whole of life, as we live and sweat and work out our salvation, both as individuals and as a human family – “Where am I? Where are we?” We look into the deep pool of our human experience (again, as individuals and as a human family), and we hope that we find an answer in our reflection.

We hope that we are where we are “supposed to be.” We hope we are happy, at peace, at home with ourselves. Too often, though, we discover that we are exiles. We are, for all of our efforts at settling down, strangers in a strange land. Nomads…. homo viator – man on the journey.

How did it come to this? When we look to the book of Genesis we find the answer, and we discover the golden key to finding our way back home as well. God’s plan from the beginning was that we find our home in His Heart – that we find our peace in His Will. That Will, that Eternal Heart, is the model for every person, every family, and every home; it’s a will and a heart for others, for a community of Love and Communion. A place where there is a vibrant exchange of self-giving that moves always in the perfection of the circle. This Love is the dance, the whirlwind that feeds the Other and at the same time is fed by the Love of that Other. God laid out the blueprint for this Dynamic of Love in the Garden of Eden. To the first man and the first woman, created naked in a garden paradise, He spoke the first commandment – “Be fruitful and multiply!” (Notice the lack of any thou shalt not ’s in this directive, by the way). This command is a joy-filled call to Love as God loves! It has the same ring to our ears as that first word given after a bride and groom pledge their love at the altar – “Kiss the bride!”

This call to be fruitful and multiply, to give and receive each other completely as a gift, holds within it the key to the question “Where am I?” The answer is, or should be, I am in You. And you are in me. Isn’t this the last wish of the true Bridegroom before He laid down His love on the altar of the Cross for us?

“As the Father has loved me, so I love you. Live on in my love.”

Our founding father and mother, Adam and Eve, were invited into this dance of self-giving love. But through fear and mistrust, or pride and a grasping at self-autonomy, they failed to step to that Rhythm, to let go and let God take them up and away. After the fall, Genesis tells us, they cover up in shame the very signs of that self-giving love that God called them too, stamped right into their bodies. And through fear, they hide from God. Times are hard, and suffering comes in varied forms for us all. We wonder where we are, where we’ve been, where we’re going. We often retreat to the shadows in our minds, shadows made darker by the abuse of power around us, or by the failure of love to save us. We question God. “Where are You?” I wonder though if the question is misdirected. Has He moved, or been removed by our lack of faith? In Genesis, the first question God asks our first parents after they betray Him is “Where are You?” It is not for His sake that He asks, for He sees all. God asks the question for them, huddled in the dark, so that they can speak it to themselves and step out into the Light again.

“Where am I?”

Adam and Eve unveil their fear as a reason for hiding from God. Is it fear that locks us in today? Fear in its many splintered forms? Speak it. Step out and make it known. His mercy pours forth in Genesis 3:15, for He is a Loving Father, and we are promised a Redeemer. What door will open for us today, if we just take the time to ask this question of questions? Perhaps opening up to the question will lead us back into the Answer, into that Circle of Love again, that Garden enclosed? For perfect love casts out all fear… and in love we find our way home.

Our Amazing Grace

January 6, 2009

I’ve shared about our story of adoption, both with our baby boy (so new and so beloved to us), and of our little ones over the last few years, 12 of whom went to God before ever seeing the light of day. I’m so happy to say that, for a short while, Little 13 saw that light.

Baby Grace Elizabeth came to us early on Sunday, the feast of the Epiphany and of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton (we think Gracie planned it that way). We waited, praying, while the c-section proceeded. Someone sneezed and we all whispered “God bless you.” And the doctor said “That was Grace.” What a way to come into the world! Blessed in her very first seconds.

She cried and squeezed our fingers, she turned her fragile head towards the light more than once. I baptized her with water from a tiny cup and we prayed, not knowing how long she would live in her condition. Then she fought for 10 hours before going back to God. She gave up her spirit just after the Angelus bells at 6pm.

For how this day unfolded in the plan of Our Father, we could not have asked for more. We had the tremendous blessing of family, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins around her, hugging and kissing her all day. Photographs and videos were taken, our pastor came and blessed her, and a dear friend from Maryland came too; he and his wife having lost their own precious daughter at birth, and truly knowing our pain.

We sang “Amazing Grace,” we prayed together, and Gracie met her big brother too. We wept, wishing she could stay, but at the end of the day we had a sense that she was going. Family left the room after saying their goodbyes, (over 20 people who had shared time with Grace), and then in our dimly lit room, Rebecca, S., Grace and I huddled up. We kissed her and sang hymns, and prayed some more. S. rested peacefully beside his sister for an hour, allowing his parents the grace to cherish every breath Grace took. For an hour, a holy hour, we kept vigil. And then she went home, and now she is whole.

We are so thankful for all of the prayers of people near and far. Messages have come literally from all over. What does this mean? That life is precious, that one little life so fragile and so fair as Grace’s can have such an impact on our hearts. Grace Elizabeth lived just 10 hours but filled our hearts with enough memories for a lifetime. Every little move she made was magic.

We have truly felt “carried” this week by so much love and support. So now, from the hospital, we’re just resting, reflecting, and praying. God has been with us at the foot of this Cross; on it in fact with Grace, we believe. We prayed for one miracle and got so much more…. “grace upon grace.”

Grace Elizabeth Donaghy
Born – January 4, 2009, 8:04am
Died – January 4, 2009, 6:08pm

Baptized, Beloved, and Beautiful. We will NEVER forget you, our little saint. Rest now in your Father’s arms. Love you forever, Mommy, Daddy, and your big brother S.

“Every human life is sacred, because every human person is sacred.”

– Pope John Paul II

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Read all the posts on Grace’s Story
Listen to Rebecca’s Song for Grace
Embryo Adoption
Amazing Grace

The Forest for the Trees

November 7, 2008

The other day at school, one of the theology teachers was trying to determine an answer on a crossword puzzle that his students were given in class. The question was “What is the fundamental norm of Christian morality and the fullness of the law.”

The answer had 5 letters, the second to the last letter was “u.”

_ _ _ u _

Now there were a few of us in the department hanging around St. Rita’s before class, and we all puzzled over it. We laughed, because no one could figure it out. A combined mass of Masters degrees in Philosophy, Systematic Theology, Church History, etc. Clueless! How the heck are the kids gonna get this if we can’t?

This got me thinking about how often we scramble and scratch and work incessantly to get an answer for the blank spaces in life. And we feel so limited. It’s just a couple of blanks! How could we not guess the answer? Why won’t this word fit, or this one? The book must be wrong. It’s a typo. It’s impossible!

I think all of the questions we have ultimately have one Answer, but we think it can’t possibly be that simple. And yet it is.

The answer was Jesus.

Ouch.