Open Up and Say "Awe"

“Entrances to holiness are everywhere. The possibility of ascent is all the time. Even at unlikely times and through unlikely places.”

– Bamidbar Rabba

Our little boy is captivated by absolutely everything. He is nine months old; his little eyes are brand new, his tiny ears are brand new, and his little soul is like a sponge absorbing EVERYTHING.

We watch in amazement as the little nuances of sunlight on a wall capture his attention, or the corners and colors of his toy blocks become like the facets of a diamond in his hands. The other day, he amused himself with a plastic cup for about 15 minutes, turning it over and over again in his fingers, crinkling it, bending it, chewing on it. It was hilarious too watch, and humbling at the same time. Humbling that something so ordinary could capture his attention for so long…

Our little boy is teaching us as parents, with our 30 something eyes and ears and hearts, to see everything as if fresh from the Hands of God. These are the days of living wonder for him… and for us.

THE BIG PICTURE

Catholics are back in “Ordinary Time,” liturgically speaking, but beware… this is just when the most extraordinary things can happen. With the coming of the Holy Spirit, I think we’re given the power to see things in their true light, finally.

Our boy is still dripping with the waters of Baptism; he can see. But with the gift of the Spirit, we too can “see.” Finally, the veil of mediocrity, of ennui, of agenda, or mere utility (only seeing a thing as a thing for our use) is pulled away. The Spirit is our Divine Physician making a house call, inviting us to open up our mouths and say “awe.” To be captivated again. Behold! The world is full of gratuitous beauty! Faces, places, colors, sounds take on all the freshness which they had for us when we were young and the world was new.

Further, we can with the gift of the Holy Spirit go into those places we once feared the most; the inner depths of our own hearts, those locked rooms, those shadowlands that we thought we’re unapproachable by anyone, including ourselves, let alone God. Now, He whispers, let’s “lower our nets for a catch.” And He says, “Fear not,” reminding us that we are truly called to be like little children, and that He Who Is Our Father will take us into those places by the Hand.

May God grant us “old heads” the grace to become little again. To rediscover everything, to see every object and every subject, every thing and every person as a gift from the Hands of the Father. From the ordinary and mundane to the extraordinary and sublime…

“To see the miraculous within the ordinary is the mark of highest wisdom.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

The Tower of Binky!

Well, what can I say? Give me a half day of school and a free afternoon while Rebecca runs some errands… and you get this piece of cinematic delight! Me and the Boy gettin’ silly!

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

The Boy Who Saved Us

God sure knew what He was doing when He decided that the human species would be able to procreate and raise little humans. For one thing, I see it as His ingenious way of getting the male component outside of their own heads once and for all. Ladies, I imagine you need sweet liberation from your own mental gymnastics of self-seeking fulfillment too, from time to time.

I have discovered that babies have the potential to pull the selfless out of the selfish. When you become a Mommy or a Daddy, powers are unleashed that could not have been extracted in any other way, except perhaps through some great trauma or suffering or epiphany. It’s amazing, exhausting, exhilarating…. “It is life nearest the bone where it is sweetest.”

Our nearly 9 month old baby boy continues to astound, capture, and captivate our hearts on a daily basis. We wake and walk the halls at 3am, and love it. We hear him cry and we run to him. He poops, or should I say explodes, and we think, get this, that it’s cute. And we want to clean it up. We sing to him all day long, and Daddy, over-productive, always reading, writing, e-mailing, planning, or presenting Daddy has been wasting time, squandering time, spilling out time doing nothing (read here everything) with his son. Including making random YouTube videos of his antics… The Boy Wonder discovers the Blues!

Rebecca and I look back at the now seemingly short 5 years of infertility that began our marriage; the days of waiting and longing for a life to share our life with, of the periods when literally everyone we knew was pregnant, or holding a little one in their arms. Our days of seeking help, of discovering adoption at the embryonic level, of Snowflakes, of more sorrows, of miscarriages and then moments with our little Gracie, so sweet and so sad and so short-lived. We were in the Barren Desert, again and again. We were trying hard not to grasp at children as if they were a right. We still hold fast to the truth that all life is a gift, and the timing is in God’s time.

That time is now! Now this most unexpected gift of our son has come! And the years dissipate like thin wisps of mourning mist. And the years of “just us” (which in itself was so full and so rich) has only served to heighten our senses and sensitivities to this Small Wonder of a Boy. Every smile, every giggle, every tear, every thing is a grace. So God surely knows and knew what He was doing. We just had to wait it out, and will again in some new form down the road, I’m sure. I just hope we remember the simple truth that “good things come to those who wait.”

And that, my friends, is the understatement of the year!

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Hooked

I’m sure we’ve all had movie moments that stick with us; scenes that combined character, catharsis, music and meaning into an unstoppable force that broke into our world and suddenly, lifted us up into theirs. Like modern parables, a great Truth was conveyed in a story and it bypassed our security systems. “Hey,” we whisper to ourselves, “that’s about me…”

I’ve been hooked on the above scene from Hook for years now. In the movie, Robin Williams plays a much older, stressed, and well dressed Peter Pan; a Peter Pan who has forgotten who he is and subsequently become a merger and acquisitions lawyer (crazy, I know). He’s married to Wendy’s granddaughter and now his kids have been captured by the infamous Captain Hook.

The scene above is Peter’s great awakening. At first we find him utterly confused, ripped from the “real” world of comfort and security into a fantastic place of dreams and magic. But what does he do? How can he live? All is wild and blazingly bright in this world, so unlike the foggy gray and ease and comfort of the world he came from.

The Lost Boys (those perpetual and unsupervised 5th graders) cannot fathom that this is their fearless leader, trembling as he is with fear before them in his suit pants. What’s a suit?

A line is drawn by the new leader of the Lost Boys, and Peter stands alone on the other side. Then, dramatically, one little boy crosses over the line, into his fear. He takes Peter by the hand, pulls him down to his level, and touches his face. Pushing and pulling at his cheeks, peering into his eyes, the Little Boy is searching for the truly Lost Boy, Peter Pan. Robin Williams in this scene, manipulated like silly putty in the hands of a Child, cannot help but smile. A light breaks through his weary eyes and suddenly the Child before him whispers “Oh there you are Peter!” The music swells, the Boys rush to Peter’s side and all begin the process of rediscovery with him. Eventually, after a long training period, Peter learns again how to fly.

Inspirations, insights… how does this speak to me?

I am lost. I need to be found again. I need the Christ Child to take me by the hand and pull me down to His level, to that place of humility, of smallness. I need Him to touch me and to push aside the worry and the anxiety and the sin and the weakness. I need Him to cross over that line and believe in me. And if I let Him have His way with me, I will hear those words “There you are Billy!”

And by His Grace I will learn again just how to FLY!

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Who’s Your Daddy?

Our son loves to laugh and smile, but just when we think it’s our funny faces or noises that are the cause of it, we’re given cause to think again. He’s like the ent named Quickbeam from The Lord of the Rings; it’s simple things that stir up joy in him; the pattern on a couch cushion, a light fixture, a sneeze, a toot (of course, those are funny even if you’re 90). These are the things that make him laugh and smile. The reality is, he has no clue who we are…. at least not yet.

Unknown hands pick him up to carry him. Food comes right to his tiny mouth just when he needs it. He can barely see things that are just a few feet away from him. He’s wrapped, rocked, cleaned, comforted, and cuddled by a love unknown to him.

I was thinking the other day as I was feeding the wee lad, it’s the same thing with us and God. So often, we have no clue just how close this Heavenly Father is to us…. just when and where He is comforting, cuddling, cleaning and caring for us. Even when, in our tears and cries, He seems absent, He’s just a few feet away, and only our undeveloped vision keeps us from seeing Him.

This fatherhood thing is doing wonders for the prayer life. I can see in our love and care for this beautiful baby boy and for his unborn sister Grace, a tiny glimmer of the love of God for us. I wonder if that too was part of His plan?

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org