As ministers of a sacrament which is constituted by consent and perfected by conjugal union, man and woman are called to express that mysterious “language” of their bodies in all the truth which is proper to it. By means of gestures and reactions, by means of the whole dynamism, reciprocally conditioned, of tension and enjoyment – whose direct source is the body in its masculinity and its femininity, the body in its action and interaction – by means of all this… the person, “speaks.”
– Pope John Paul II, Theology of the Body address, 1984
The person speaks… but oh, sometimes we wish we hadn’t! Words are like arrows shot, once released they cannot return! So think before you fire away. What husbands and wives speak or communicate to each other, in word or in action, should always lead to communion. But sometimes… we slip. And it does just the opposite. Ladies, forgive us our trespasses, for often, we know not what we do! So men, here’s a goofy little reminder of the things you don’t say to your wives, courtesy of Tim Hawkins. Can the ladies come up with a list of things you shouldn’t say to us?
Archive for the ‘funny’ Category
Things You Don’t Say to Your Wife
October 9, 2009The Two Towers – Boy Wonder Returns!
June 11, 2009Yes, clearly I DO have too much time on my hands…. I’m a teacher who’s off for the summer. What’d ya expect? Enjoy the second installment of the Tower of Binky… the Two Towers! (Coming soon, Return of the Binky!)
The Boy Who Saved Us
May 29, 2009
God sure knew what He was doing when He decided that the human species would be able to procreate and raise little humans. For one thing, I see it as His ingenious way of getting the male component outside of their own heads once and for all. Ladies, I imagine you need sweet liberation from your own mental gymnastics of self-seeking fulfillment too, from time to time.
Rebecca and I look back at the now seemingly short 5 years of infertility that began our marriage; the days of waiting and longing for a life to share our life with, of the periods when literally everyone we knew was pregnant, or holding a little one in their arms. Our days of seeking help, of discovering adoption at the embryonic level, of Snowflakes, of more sorrows, of miscarriages and then moments with our little Gracie, so sweet and so sad and so short-lived. We were in the Barren Desert, again and again. We were trying hard not to grasp at children as if they were a right. We still hold fast to the truth that all life is a gift, and the timing is in God’s time.
What’s Inside You?
February 7, 2009
One filled with joy preaches without preaching.
– Blessed Mother Teresa
Some people are seemingly always happy. Like the Psalmist says, “They have heard no evil news.” They float, they roll, they fly, they bear it and wear it well in all manner of circumstances. They actually believe Blessed Julian of Norwich’s famous phrase “All shall be well, in all manner of things. All shall be well.”
Please understand, I don’t mean a kind of flaky, out of touch, dilusional happy. I mean content, satisfied, fulfilled; actually possessing a deep peace at their center, regardless of the choppy waves on the surface of things.
I think the better word here is JOY. Happiness is too often the effect of happenstance, stuff happening to you.
“Hey, it’s stopped raining!”
“Ooo, a quarter!”
“I don’t have to pay for my parking?”
Real Joy flows more from convictions than it does from conditions. That’s why when the saints were suffering in such terrible conditions, they could still smile, be at peace, love. They had conviction. Their hearts were not shallow puddles that could tremble at the slightest atmospheric changes, but rather were deep wells of trust in God.
So there it is… a goal to shoot for; to place your pursuit of happiness not in feelings but in the freedom of your will. To begin to construct your conviction that all shall be well. To build the well within, and let God fill that well with His Grace. We’ll discover that even as bad as things may feel, they can never again rob us of His Joy.
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? …Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” (Rom. 8:35-37)
It’s been said that if the joy Christians proclaimed with their lips were shining on their faces, there would be no unbelievers. Well, “peace begins with a smile” (Mother Teresa). So let us “rejoice always…. I say it again, rejoice!” (St. Paul) There’s a gloomy world out there that needs some serious silliness and “There’s no such thing as a sad saint.” (St. Theresa of Avila)
Thanks to Cecilia for the video below! The ending just about sums it up!
Validation
January 28, 2009Thanks Mark Shea, for posting this on your blog. That was a well spent 15 minutes! Enjoy this funny and positively charming video…… and remember…. “You… are…. great!”
“Peace begins with a smile.”
– Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
The Talon or My Near Death Experience at Dorney Park
August 23, 2006
Slightly Stale but Still Relevant
I have to apologize to my readers. My intention in starting this blog was to share fresh experiences – the thoughts, insights and inspirations that come through daily encounters. I neglected to comment on the event in today’s “post” the day after it happened, because… well… my subconscious was trying to block it out.
FLASHBACK: My wife’s family came down a few weeks ago from NY, and we planned on dazzling them with the many spectacles that can be found in and around the Greater Philadelphia area (no, we did NOT have cheesesteaks). We visited the Franklin Institute, jumped in Logan Square’s fountain, paid alot for parking, etc… but the key experience was when we broke the chains of the city and headed north to Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom (I don’t know why they don’t just call it Dorney Kingdom or something).
It was a perfect day to visit Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom – that conglomeration of metal, plastic and tubular structures – because that day it was 237 degrees in the shade. We parked in the lot (about 3 miles from the gate), and like nomads crossing the Sahara, we trudged over the steaming asphalt, got to the “Welcome” booth, and emptied our entire wallets into the hands of the teenager with the “official” Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom polo shirt (don’t except imitations!). Then like kids at Christmas, lost in a mountain of ribbons and wrapping paper, we pounced into the nearest pool, laughing, giggling, splashing. Then the kids in our group jumped in.
I think our parched bodies took in at least 6 tons of water throughout our day at Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom. And that was really NICE. Everywhere you’d turn, there was a place to submerge. We surfaced only to eat a homemade lunch, because it cost $713 to eat anything there. Our makeshift meal was eaten in the Sahara, I mean parking lot, on top of a boogie board resting on two traffic cones we found. Then we ran back in to Dorney Park and Wildwater Kingdom as if a pack of wild saber-toothed dogs were after us! It was at this point where the details get a little foggy and why today is the first time I’m writing this down. My brave young nephew said to me, “It’s time for the Talon.”
Now the Talon is a “rollercoaster”, which in Latin translates as “a voluntary near death experience.”
Ride Stats on the Talon
Height: 135 feet
Drop: 120 feet
Top speed: 58 mph
Inversions (whatever that means): 4
Length: 3,110 feet
Train Mfg: Bolliger and Mabillard (can these guys be trusted?)
More Information
Vertical Loop, Zero-G Roll, Corkscrew
What are those… Ninja moves? Is this legal? Whatever, let’s do it! (I hope you’re sitting down. Of course you are, who stands at a computer?) They locked us in. Metal scraped on metal. I think a little whimper noise came out of my lips, but I quickly coughed. “This is gonna be…. cool.”
Spinning, tumbling…. I think we broke the sound barrier. I know what a Zero-G Roll is now. I shook his hand. Zipping, swirling. We just tore through the time-space continuum like scissors through paper. I saw my life flash before my eyes: those happy childhood days, watching the Donny and Marie Show, playing with Star Wars action figures in the backyard, the first time I saw Indiana Jones (so cool!), and the time President Carter went driving past in a limo when I was 8 or something. Then I realized these weren’t images in my mind, they were in the car with me! We had broken the time-space continuum! AAAAHHHH!!!!
The ride was over. I heard a swoooosh sound. I looked around me and the universe and all the people in it fell back into their proper places and times. My nephew (oh yeah, he’s here too!) was the color of skim milk. But then a little smile of gratitude cracked on his face. He would see the 7th grade after all! I looked down and saw my one hand still gripping the cushioned handlebar, and in the other was a Luke Skywalker action figure.
“Let’s do it again!”
Human beings are curious creatures. Squirrels don’t construct rollercoasters. Chickens do not bungee jump off of bridges just for kicks. But we do stuff like that. We push ourselves, we flood our senses to the breaking point sometimes. Why?
Well, we can ponder that one another day. I’m exhausted.
The Heart of Things 