In Gratitude for the Gift of Down’s Syndrome

The number of children born with Down’s Syndrome has decreased in recent years. Those families found with such a “defective” pregnancy are encouraged by some doctors to “ease their suffering” by aborting their babies. Rebecca and I were so advised when we learned of our daughter Grace’s condition of acrania. But in so doing, in attempting to eradicate “suffering” from our lives or the lives of our children, we destroy the very gifts God has in store for us. Yes, gifts.

Father, forgive us, for we know not what we do.

God always sees a greater good in the things we label bad. He sometimes allows nature to take it’s course, and we are invited to move through this wounded world with eyes wide open, and hearts ready for anything.

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Open Up and Say "Awe"

“Entrances to holiness are everywhere. The possibility of ascent is all the time. Even at unlikely times and through unlikely places.”

– Bamidbar Rabba

Our little boy is captivated by absolutely everything. He is nine months old; his little eyes are brand new, his tiny ears are brand new, and his little soul is like a sponge absorbing EVERYTHING.

We watch in amazement as the little nuances of sunlight on a wall capture his attention, or the corners and colors of his toy blocks become like the facets of a diamond in his hands. The other day, he amused himself with a plastic cup for about 15 minutes, turning it over and over again in his fingers, crinkling it, bending it, chewing on it. It was hilarious too watch, and humbling at the same time. Humbling that something so ordinary could capture his attention for so long…

Our little boy is teaching us as parents, with our 30 something eyes and ears and hearts, to see everything as if fresh from the Hands of God. These are the days of living wonder for him… and for us.

THE BIG PICTURE

Catholics are back in “Ordinary Time,” liturgically speaking, but beware… this is just when the most extraordinary things can happen. With the coming of the Holy Spirit, I think we’re given the power to see things in their true light, finally.

Our boy is still dripping with the waters of Baptism; he can see. But with the gift of the Spirit, we too can “see.” Finally, the veil of mediocrity, of ennui, of agenda, or mere utility (only seeing a thing as a thing for our use) is pulled away. The Spirit is our Divine Physician making a house call, inviting us to open up our mouths and say “awe.” To be captivated again. Behold! The world is full of gratuitous beauty! Faces, places, colors, sounds take on all the freshness which they had for us when we were young and the world was new.

Further, we can with the gift of the Holy Spirit go into those places we once feared the most; the inner depths of our own hearts, those locked rooms, those shadowlands that we thought we’re unapproachable by anyone, including ourselves, let alone God. Now, He whispers, let’s “lower our nets for a catch.” And He says, “Fear not,” reminding us that we are truly called to be like little children, and that He Who Is Our Father will take us into those places by the Hand.

May God grant us “old heads” the grace to become little again. To rediscover everything, to see every object and every subject, every thing and every person as a gift from the Hands of the Father. From the ordinary and mundane to the extraordinary and sublime…

“To see the miraculous within the ordinary is the mark of highest wisdom.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Amazing Grace

An update on our Snowflakes adoption story….

We had another ultrasound this week, and our baby’s condition has not changed since the diagnosis of acrania. We’re still holding out for our miracle, through the prayerful intercession of Pope John Paul II, because nothing is impossible with God. And what our baby needs is the impossible. Bone where there is no bone; a total and complete healing.

We did receive a tremendous blessing, though, in coming to discover the baby’s sex. So we welcome to the world, though still hidden in the womb, our little girl, Grace Elizabeth.

And she is a dancer. In our 22nd week, the images seem so clear. She came waltzing out of the murky shadows of the ultrasound screen, in a dimly lit room at the perinatal testing center. We could see her hands waving, the bones of her tiny fingers, her heart pounding strong and fast. When the technician, Janene, said “It’s a girl,” I felt such a swell of emotion. Coming to know someone’s name has a power in it. It’s a privilege actually. And now it strikes me as so much more personal than before… We have a little girl… and we will always have a little girl. Sixteen years from now, come what may, we’ll be celebrating her birthday. We’ll speak of her, dream of her, talk to her, and if the miracle doesn’t come (though in a certain sense it is here already) we’ll ask her to wait for us in Heaven. And we’ll all look forward to meeting her in that Perfect Place where everything is whole and every tear is wiped away.

But here below, this new knowledge is a two-edged sword; even as it helps us cut through a section of the sadness by our naming and knowing our little girl, it tears at us because we must consider all ends; we might have to say goodbye just as we say hello. I know it’s not by coincidence that we found this all out on the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. Feasts of Mary and the saints have been curiously aligned with our visits and appointments throughout the past couple of years. A comfort on this way of the Cross.

Grace Elizabeth…. be strong, be whole, be healed. We love and wait for you. Keep dancing in your watery world as we treasure every second of this journey.

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Abortion Changes You

A new podcast is up on the very controversial topic of abortion. Michaelene Fredenburg is the creator of Abortion Changes You, an outreach for those affected directly or indirectly by abortion. Staying away from the polarization that often takes place in the culture, Michaelene instead focuses on the hearts left wounded by abortion, She has created a place for healing, sharing stories, and building a new life after the fallout of a practice that is taking its toll on countless unseen victims every day. Michaelene’s own story follows…. please consider passing this story on to someone whom you know needs support.

“When I became pregnant at 18, I had an abortion. I was completely unprepared for the emotional fallout. I thought the abortion would erase the pregnancy. I thought I could move on with my life. I was wrong. I experienced periods of intense anger followed by periods of profound sadness. When my feelings became too difficult to deal with, I reached out for help from a trained counselor. With counseling and the help of supportive friends, I was able to enter into a healthy grieving process. In addition to grieving the loss of my child, I slowly became aware of how my choice to abort had impacted my family. I was surprised and saddened that my parents, my sister, and even my living children struggled to deal with the loss of a family member through abortion. Over the years I’ve heard many heartrending stories about abortion. Although each story is unique, a common thread moves through them all—abortion changes you. Yet there is no forum to help abortion participants—and the people who are closest to them—explore this tragic truth. Although abortion has touched many of us, we rarely share our personal experiences regarding it. This is what led me to write a book that shares some of the stories I’ve heard. There was also a need for a safe space for people to tell their stories, explore the ways abortion has impacted them, and find resources. We created AbortionChangesYou.com to fill this need. It is my hope that this Web site will assist you as you seek to make sense of your abortion or the abortion of someone close to you.”

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Fly Away

When I was a kid I wanted to fly. I’m pretty sure I wasn’t alone in that desire. I think everybody has a deep-seated longing for the freedom of the birds, the freedom to simply lift off, float, ascend, sail away. From the Greek myth of Icarus to Leonardo’s sketches of flying machines, human beings have never been completely content as muddy-shoed bipeds.

TODAY’S QUESTION: What’s up with that?

Just imagine this scenario: Someone clearly exhibiting supernatural powers walks up to you and offers you the chance to either pay off your car, your mortgage, and get that new washer/dryer combo in the cool new colors for the basement, or…. you can fly… which would you choose?

When I first saw Superman in 1978, I wanted to fly like crazy. When I saw E.T. and watched Elliot and his alien friend cruise over the heads of those mean grown ups on his dirt-bike, my eyes were like saucers. I dreamt about flying across the moon on my sweet Huffy Pro-Thunder BMX Bandit with the star rims for weeks!

Where am I going with this one? Excellent question!
I’m not sure yet….

I’d like to leave the cap off on this one for awhile; open, like the sky itself. Part of me doesn’t want to bring closure to these dreams! Adults are good at putting lids on things, limitations, caps and ceilings. Being realistic and stuff…. Boo hiss! Wonder leaves it wide open.

Remember C.S. Lewis’s quote about desire. If there’s a longing in the heart, there must be a locus in the world for it (or perhaps Another World yet to come). Jesus ascended into Heaven, Mary was assumed body and soul. Am I that crazy in my own longing for flight? There are stories of saints levitating… sailing up to the rafters of a Church after receiving Communion, or even hearing the names of Jesus and Mary! In the immortal words of my niece Ella…. “What ‘da!?”

Why is our culture filled at the moment with so many movies about super heroes or supernatural beings that have amazing powers? We give them the gifts we wish we had. From Neo to the X-Men, Superman to Ironman. The animals don’t dream like this! Why are we not satisfied?

QUICK ANSWER: The animals are home here, we are not. In a certain sense, it’s our home away from home. More accurately, we’re exiled. The stuff of eternity is in us, and earth can’t contain it.

Now I’m not saying we should try and fly, or levitate for that matter. St. Teresa of Avila, one of the Church’s greatest “superheroines” (aka mystics), once hinted that she would rather have one normal experience to a thousand mystical experiences any day. She thought it too distracting for others I suppose, and the gift of her mystical experiences became a burden when people came for the show rather than for Jesus. That’s humility!

And the flight of St. Joseph of Cupertino? Where did that power come from? LOVE. It comes unbidden, it fills us up like helium. Maybe I was trying too hard as a kid. Flight is not something we can master or muster at our own bidding. It’s a natural byproduct of Love. Love is the fuel.

“Love lifts us up where we belong, where the eagles fly on a mountain high…”

I’ll trail off with a rather lengthy word from the MAN…. Clive Staples:

We do not want merely to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words — to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it. That is why we have peopled air and earth and water with gods and goddesses and nymphs and elves — that, though we cannot, yet these projections can, enjoy in themselves that beauty, grace, and power of which Nature is the image. That is why the poets tell us such lovely falsehoods. They talk as if the west wind could really sweep into a human soul; but it can’t. They tell us that “beauty born of murmuring sound” will pass into human face; but it won’t. Or not yet. For if we take the imagery of Scripture seriously, if we believe that God will one day give us the Morning Star and cause us to put on the splendor of the sun, then we may surmise that both the ancient myths and the modern poetry, so false as history, may be very near the truth as prophecy. At present we are on the outside of the world, the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the splendors we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumor that it will not always be so. Some day, God willing, we shall get in.

– C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Carry On

I remember stumbling onto the works of Hieronymus Bosch, a 16th century painter, for the first time when I was studying art. I thought he was nuts. It was his famous painting “The Garden of Earthly Delights.” Like a flash forward to a Tim Burton film or a Dr. Suess story gone bad, it was filled with bizarre contraptions, creepy creatures, and disfigured figures; surreal and completely unlike anything of his own era.

Then I found his painting pictured here; Christ carrying the Cross. Some of the same Boschian faces are back, but now they are juxtaposed with the serene face of Christ. His eyes are closed, He leans forward on His via dolorosa, His way of sorrows. Anger and rage swell around his peaceful, almost contemplative face. Screaming, laughing, conniving faces swirl in a sea of torment around Him. But He presses on. It is captivating. And in this cauldron of humanity, only one other face seems to mark the gravity of the moment, to be awake and aware of the redemption so near at hand. A woman, modest, pure, who has placed herself in the eye of the storm with Him Who walks towards the Hill of Calvary. She too has eyes closed in meditation and holds open for all to see (who dare to look) the veil that captured His Face.

In the film The Passion of the Christ, the scene of Jesus carrying His Cross becomes, in a sense, the climax of the entire story. It’s here where a verse from Revelation comes tumbling in, seemingly out of place and enigmatic to the core. Jesus meets a Woman, His Mother, on the way. Only they seem to feel the full weight of this moment, where the problem of evil, of suffering, of injustice, and all the sorrows of humanity are met head on. This is what God does in Jesus: looks Death square in the eye. Did you think He came to tell us to be nice to everybody?

In this one moment the only One Who could give an answer to the mysterium iniquitatis, the mystery of evil, is the God Who became Man, and He says to the Woman: “Behold, I make all things new.”

Now that’s power. He doesn’t come to erase our mistakes, or eradicate humanity’s gift of freedom, or even to pat us on the back and say it’s OK now. He comes to redeem our sins, to redirect our passions by His Passion, to remake the mold of what a Man should be and what a Woman should be in the face of sorrow and sin. The image, the posture, the position is…. cruciform. Arms outstretched, leaving the center wide-open, the heart vulnerable to the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.” We can take down Suffering by suffering, destroy Death with the death to self. If we let sorrow bite us and break us and then get up again and carry on, then Death, where is your sting?

Can we do this today? Can we look our suffering in the eye (and we know exactly where it is) and pick it up? Walk with it? Take it through the crowded streets of our life and bear it peacefully? Some see Christians as escapists, looking for a way out of meaninglessness and clutching at a crutch for comfort. Please look at a crucifix. Christians are the real realists. We are the ones called to name it, claim it and meet it head on. To take life in all its manifold complexity into the heart and there let His grace transform it.

So let’s carry on… Victory awaits beyond this Hill of Sorrows!

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Can I Live?

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Grace Upon Grace

Well, I’m blogging while my Immaculata students take their final exam. Is that irresponsible? Heck no, ’cause they’re a group of amazing young people who can take a test despite the feverish click and clak of these keyboard keys! Yeah!

It’s been an awesome experience, teaching at a University level this semester. And the provident convenience of Immaculata U. being just 7 minutes and 32 seconds from Malvern Prep was another convenience. I’m looking forward to next semester already, though the Christmas break will be nice.

This was a course on Marriage and Family, with a strong emphasis on the Theology of the Body. We read the thoughts of Pope John Paul II, Mary Healy, Christopher West, we critically watched film clips, listened to popular music, and had discussions on the meaning of being human, the reason we are alive, the battle between love and lust. What better way to spend a Tuesday night from 7:15 to 9:45 I ask you!? To be honest, being home with Rebecca would have been better, but she has been amazingly supportive and so encouraging of me in this vocation of teaching. And despite the long nights, I’M LOVING IT! When you find your passion, your passion finds a way. And teaching theology, gazing wide-eyed into the Mystery of Mysteries Who is not a dry dogma or a program but a Person, is my passion!

What will it be like in 10 years, 20? I feel I’m just a baby teacher in many ways. But the Truth and the Goodness and the Beauty are what lead me on. In the words of one of our Malvern teachers, Mike Rawlings (whom I believe is quoting Alison King) a good teacher is not a “Sage on the Stage, but a Guide by the Side.” That’s what I hope to be more and more.

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

God All in My Face

We have Mass every morning at Malvern Prep. Last week, because of a spring concert and the need to set things up in chapel, Fr. Steve had to make a makeshift altar and bring it down in front of the first row of pews. Now I usually sit in the front row for Mass to get up and read, so when the altar came down, my entire field of vision was filled up with the sacred stuff of the Lord’s Supper; the linen cloth, chalice, candles, the paten with the host on it, the hands of Fr. Steve moving over the wine and the water and the bread at the moment of consecration. I could almost reach out and touch the altar if I tried. God was all in my face.

This was a little overwhelming; I was drawn in, captured. There was no escape and no chance for distraction. When God is all in your face, you have to look at Him. And when I looked I didn’t see a big scary Overlord coming to dominate me or show commandments down my throat. I saw a God Who became little, to liberate me and give me the dominion over my weakness that I desperately need. He’s so tiny that He can fit inside me and fix me from the inside out.

This experience got me thinking about the way God works. God loves stuff. He loves the material world, His first gift and testament to us. And even though we’ve scribbled all over it and torn out some of the pages, He still sends us love letters through this book. He comes to us through the things He’s made; bread and oil and water and wine. He’s redeemed us with their help, especially in the physical sign and reality of Jesus’ very flesh and blood!

So it strikes me that God doesn’t want to remain forever distant from us, “out there” past Orion or lodged merely as a thought in the cerebral cortex of men and women. He wants to get into our blood, get under our skin, and He firgured out how to do it in the Eucharist that I was only 5 feet away from last week. Isn’t this nuts? Isn’t He crazy about us? That’s the only explanation for me that works. He’s not the dominating Judge with a beard beaming white and flowing robes pointing a gabel at me. He’s a God Who’s become so small just for the love of me.

I want to encourage everyone reading this to try letting Him in even more. Open up. Come closer to the altar, that place of fire and healing. I’ve discovered there’s no other way to be cured of my arrogance, pride, fear, doubt, guilt than to let Him in. He’s the cure, the antidote for all the poisons we’ve taken into our bodies and souls, knowingly or unknowingly. And He’s not going to yell at us for being so foolish. All He wants to do is set things right again.

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Just a Little Gem from Clive Staples

Been away from the blog for a few days… busy busy busy. So here’s a quick word from the “Man”:

It is always shocking to meet life where we thought we were alone. ‘Look out!’ we cry, ‘it’s alive’. And therefore this is the very point at which so many draw back – I would have done so myself if I could – and proceed no further with Christianity. An ‘impersonal God’ — well and good. A subjective God of beauty, truth and goodness, inside our own heads – better still. A formless life-force surging through us, a vast power which we can tap – best of all. But God Himself, alive, pulling at the other end of the cord, perhaps approaching at an infinite speed, the hunter, king, husband – that is quite another matter. There comes a moment when the children who have been playing at burglars hush suddenly: was that a real footstep in the hall? There comes a moment when people who have been dabbling in religion (‘Man’s search for God!’) suddenly draw back. Supposing we really found Him? We never meant it to come to that! Worse still, supposing He had found us?

– C.S. Lewis, from Miracles

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org