God "Loves" Me?

GOD.

Simply saying this three letter word can conjure up different thoughts for different people these days. Thoughts that perhaps are hard to wrap our heads around, let alone our arms: A Bright Light, billowing clouds, a booming disembodied voice, a Force that is distant and yet somehow accessible, or even a kind of Cosmic Grandpa who some say actually hears us through a thing called prayer.

For others today, the word GOD seems small, antiquated, and irrelevant. Hasn’t science disproved all that supernatural stuff? “We’ve evolved as a species and feel it no longer necessary to have a psychological crutch like GOD to get us through this life.”

Finally, for others, (and this one perplexes the unbeliever to no end) GOD is as close and intimate and personal as, well, a person. God, they say, is above all a Lover, in fact, and He is crazy about us measly humans! So crazy that He came among us and has now and forevermore, a human face, a human heart! These folks believe Divinity married humanity in Jesus, forever.

Our first experience of God is so important, we either experience Him as the police guard that wants to punish or as Creative Love that awaits.

– Pope Benedict XVI

I think in our American culture, so focused on ME that we too often forget about the OTHER, the idea of an objectively real and personal God somehow feels like an affront to our freedom, our reason, and individuality. God? Oh, right. Him again? The Big Landlord? Believing in Him means joining the rank and file and stifling the fun. It means losing your spontaneity and intellectual freedom because every Sunday you have to blindly “pay the rent.” Or pay for “fire insurance,” as some glibly joke. But this is ridiculously simplistic.

In our deepest being we all know that we were not made for laws. We were made for love.

I think this fear of losing ourselves in a love relationship with God is actually keeping us from true freedom. After all, when we close the door to the transcendent, we fail to become fully human. A caged, clipped bird can forget it was designed to fly.

Humans by nature are religious beings, made for the Infinite, made for the Bottomless Mystery of a God Who loves us. We have a longing for this unending love, truth, and a beauty that does not fade. Need proof? Just listen to your own heart’s desires! (or the music of Journey or Foreigner, heh heh). We long to give ourselves to the Infinite, to lose ourselves in Love, but when we close our minds to the idea of it being really real, transcendent, responsive, immanent through grace, then we clip our own wings. Consequently, we discover that we cannot give ourselves fully to anyone.

“Once God is forgotten… the creature itself grows unintelligible.”

– Gaudium et Spes

When we deny or dismiss the Infinite as unreal or irrelevant, we end up eventually stagnating in a pool of boredom. or narcissism, or egocentrism. What is the meaning of life if the source of that Life is dead? We then fall back on ourselves, but without the real power to love, to get beyond ourselves, to transcend. Then we settle on giving part of our hearts but not all, or worse, we go through relationships grasping instead of trusting that love will be given to us.

So where is the truth that will set us free? How can we know if God is real, and really loves me? Read Scripture.

When we’re quiet and alone with that book, we can get some pretty deep thoughts. You might even catch a thought like the one Augustine whispered to himself way back in the 4th century when he cracked open the Scriptures. “The deepest desire of my heart is to see another and to be seen by the Other.”

Is God Love? Is it just Law? Well, ask God. Let Him in, and you’ll discover you have an infinite capacity for Him. And if God is truly a Person, a Communion of Persons, in fact, then how else could we actually know Him unless we let Him into the heart? I don’t think my way through relationships with people, I don’t reason out the issues at stake, mentally prep myself to fall in love. “On September 24, 2009 at precisely 9:37am I will fall in love.” No, I reach out and speak words. I open the mind and let down the guard a bit with the one standing before me. I listen, wait, gaze long and let myself be looked upon. That look builds a relationship. Why should this be any different with God?

Prayer can progress, as a genuine dialogue of love, to the point of rendering the person wholly possessed by the divine Beloved, vibrating at the Spirit’s touch, resting filially within the Father’s heart. This is the lived experience of Christ’s promise: “He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.”

– Pope John Paul II, Novo Millennio Ineunte 33

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Originally published in The Publican

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Sea and Believe

I love the ocean. It helps me believe in things much larger than me. Transcendent things, eternal things; Beauty, Peace, The Oneness. Ultimately… God.

Standing before the sea this morning, here in cloudy/sunny Sea Isle City, I had a physical encounter with a spiritual truth. The sea became a channel of grace. And that’s the definition of a sacrament, in a very broad sense. I wasn’t alone either. Other daily communicants were gathering for this celebration of the sun, rising in benediction over the new day. Does this sound scandalous? Let’s recall that the world was God’s first church, or Temple, as the Hebrews saw it. In the beginning, we were all priestly in our vocation of praise and worship to the One Who fashioned it all from nothing.

We’ve spent two nights here and are leaving soon. So I had my farewell coffee sitting in the sand, while Rebecca and the wee lad slept. I snapped this picture with the phone, then just stared and listened for a while as the slow, rhythmic beat of the heart of the sea came into me.

Ponderings…

Who was the first ancient soul to build a craft and seek to cross this watery road to the world’s edge? That took some guts.

What is it about the lapping up of water on sand, endlessly, that stirs me, invites me, into endless peace?

I truly believe we’re drawn to the sea because God is still speaking through it; His first sacramental encounter with us. He sings through it’s salty symphony, He shines in the sun!

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

The Sway, the Truth, and the Life

I think when Future Bill looks back on the small number of posts that went up for January and February of 2009, he’ll be smiling.

Smiling because every long stretch of postless days meant the time was wasted on his family. Yes! Wasted. Spilled out like a precious ointment on the feet of his beloved wife and son! Those were the days of grace; of Grace, and the Boy Wonder to be exact.

I’ve written before about the mysterious powers that a child unlocks in a father’s heart, powers that lay dormant like seeds awaiting the water of life. Well, they keep coming. I feel like the Greatest American Hero, Ralph Hinkley. Remember that show? In the series, he was given a “super suit” but lost the Instruction Manual in the desert. The series moved along and Ralph just had to discover how it all worked. Some episodes had him getting the knack of flying down a bit better, one show had him learn how to become invisible. Pretty cool stuff. I’ve already mastered invisibility…. it’s called “peekaboo!”

Yes, every day is an adventure, and every day Rebecca and I are absolutely blown away by the mystery of this little boy. We’re captivated by his smile, the way his face lights up when we look at him, when I come home from work, when he looks around at Sunday Mass at all the faces, and the stained glass, and the marble columns. And how his eyes flash at the sound of the altar bells when Jesus is coming.

A few weeks back, at Mass, I was holding the wee lad, and found myself… swaying. Finally, swaying. Ahead of me, a young couple stood, friends of ours, each holding a child, and swaying. And ahead of them, yet another woman, swaying. Like a forest of trees caught up in a great wind, there we were. Mommies and daddies, caught up in the Wind of the Spirit of Life. For years this sight caused a deep pain in our hearts, and now suddenly, we’ve entered into the Dance… into the Sway, the Truth, and the Life that God wishes all of us to enjoy.

It gives me pause to consider those still waiting, still hoping for the gift of children or of the gift of a spouse to build a life with, and to share a life with too. These are words and experiences to deep for tears. All I can do is hold and treasure this life, appreciating the utter gratuitousness of it all. Everything is a gift, everything is a grace.

The way to begin healing the wounds of the world is to treasure the Infant Christ in us; to be not the castle but the cradle of Christ; and, in rocking that cradle to the rhythm of love, to swing the whole world back into the beat of the Music of Eternal Life.
– Caryll Houselander

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Augustine’s Restless Heart

What better way to celebrate this great feast of St. Augustine, than to let him speak for himself. This excerpt from his classic book “Confessions” is by far my favorite of his, and one of my favorite writings from all of the saints. Learn more about his amazing story at American Catholic’s link here.

“Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all. You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burned for your peace. “
– St. Augustine of Hippo

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org