Peace and Pain

“Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
– John 20

“Peace be with you”…

Peace is what we all long for, deep down. Often we imagine it lies on some white sandy shore or on the winning side of a Powerball ticket. But ironically, peace is often found not in the absence of sorrows and responsibilities but in the quiet acceptance of them. So often, it’s in the still center, the eye of the storm, where there is peace.

The story of Thomas above is a powerful reminder of this truth. Jesus returns. He is glorious, alive, healed. But he has scars. Good Friday cannot be separated from Easter Sunday. Incidentally, it’s been said that there is only one man-made thing in Heaven: Christ’s wounds. What a sobering thought. Christians are not living in a fantasy world. Dreaming up pipe dreams. Walks through rose gardens. In the immortal words of Guns ‘n Roses, we know that “every rose has its thorn…”

Unconditional Love, the force that Jesus unleashed upon the world by his life and death, is a curious mix of pleasure and pain, joy and sorrow. So even in the midst of that first Easter, that shockingly beautiful, scandalously incredible, dream of all dreams miracle of the Master’s return from Death, there was death’s reminder. Scarred hands. A pierced and open side. So let’s not deceive ourselves. Love is pain. Love hurts. Peace has a price. Without this wound of Love could we ever peer in and behold the very real, beating and pleading Heart of our incarnate God?

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

What Must I Do?

Two weeks after the tragedy of the earthquake in Haiti, and people of good will are still wondering “What more can we do for Haiti?”

Many of us realize that there will be no real change in Haiti so long as the gifts sent are merely cash or the construction of a new infrastructure. Haiti needs more. Haiti needs our hearts. Haiti needs communion with the community of the world. Haiti must not again be forsaken. We must see in Haiti’s brokenness an opportunity for togetherness.

We must do for the least of our brothers and sisters as if we were doing for Jesus Himself. For Jesus is truly among us, in the “distressing disguise of the poor.”

For many too, I think, another question is rising out of the smoke and dust of this tragedy; “Where is God in all of this?” I believe the answer is not up in the clouds… God is in Haiti. Again, since Jesus has entered our world, our world is not the same. The Author has entered his own pages. He has bound Himself to the paper and ink of our history through the Incarnation of the Son of God. So where is God in all of this unimaginable suffering? He is at its heart, for He has already suffered unimaginably.

I don’t believe God is simply looking down from Heaven. I believe He is also looking out from the rubble. God is on the Cross where He has been hanging for centuries.

“So where are we in all of this?” I think the first place to start is at the foot of this Cross, looking on Haiti who has been pierced, hands and feet and side… head crowned with thorns, and in seeing let us believe! Let us hold Haiti like the Pieta…

God is in Haiti. And He is calling out to us…

“Come, all you who pass by the way, look and see whether there is any suffering like my suffering…”

– Lamentations 1:12

Where is God? He is in our suffering, He is really in it. And so now none of it should go to waste. Not a drop of it, for it’s mixed with our blood, sweat, and tears. As the priest prays in the Mass, “By the mystery of this water and wine, may we come to share in the Divinity of Christ who humbled himself to share in our humanity.”

May this God of blood, sweat, and tears bless the blood, sweat, and tears of Haiti, and of all the generous men and women who are now lending a hand to a suffering people.

“For we are like olives, only when we are crushed do we yield what is best in us.”

– Talmud

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

In Gratitude for the Gift of Down’s Syndrome

The number of children born with Down’s Syndrome has decreased in recent years. Those families found with such a “defective” pregnancy are encouraged by some doctors to “ease their suffering” by aborting their babies. Rebecca and I were so advised when we learned of our daughter Grace’s condition of acrania. But in so doing, in attempting to eradicate “suffering” from our lives or the lives of our children, we destroy the very gifts God has in store for us. Yes, gifts.

Father, forgive us, for we know not what we do.

God always sees a greater good in the things we label bad. He sometimes allows nature to take it’s course, and we are invited to move through this wounded world with eyes wide open, and hearts ready for anything.

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Prayers for Little Mary’s Family

For those who have followed the story of little Mary Coffey, please know that she went home to God yesterday morning. Having lost our daughter Grace this past January, their story has been especially close to our hearts. Grace lived just 10 hours, little Mary was nearly three years old, and now these precious ones will always be remembered… always! The cross of their pain and suffering has been planted deep in our hearts, and has already touched so many! Now Grace and Mary both dance in Heaven’s Song; as Catholics we believe in this reality! But the notes to that Song can sometimes seem very distant. May God comfort the Coffey’s now, and all who have lost a little one, with the healing balm of His peaceful Presence. 

My friend Tony has captured a beautiful memory of seeing Mary Coffey the day before yesterday  and I wanted to share it with you below. His blog is here – The Joyful Faith

WEDNESDAY, JULY 15, 2009
Mary Coppa Coffey

Our great friends Jim and Felicia lost their beautiful and wonderful daughter this morning. We are so sad to lose this amazing treasure, but as Jim said to me this morning, they are at peace knowing that they have a Saint in heaven watching over them forever. they have all ready fullfilled their role as parents, they raised a Saint, they brought to the world a saint, and now she will be spending her time in heaven doing good on earth for her family and for others.

I wanted to relate a story about Mary, I went and saw her yesterday, and it was really a very meaningful experience for me. Here was a little child who just underwent heart-surgery, but she was performing heart surgery on me, literally, staring at her was ripping my heart open. In the 20 minutes I was with her, I was beginning to understand something of beauty, and how much the world needs Mary. I thought to myself many times, wow, she is so beautiful, it taught me an amazing lesson, to look past the surface and look right to the heart, look right to the soul. Her grandpop said something to me that also struck me, without souls like Mary, the world would fall apart,” Its good for our human hearts to burst when we see such beauty.

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Change We Can Believe In

We’ve all heard those dramatic movie trailers that start off in shadowy, ominous tones…. “In a world full of darkness…. in a time of war…. in a city torn by hatred and violence…. ONE MAN stood for justice…” etc etc.

Then we get all fired up watching Mr. Biceps (insert the latest Hollywood toughie) fight the powers that be and WIN, and the moral is once again… “One man can make a difference.”

One man, that is, toting a large semi-automatic weapon.

But these remedies in the fight against Evil are always short-lived, aren’t they? Lots of explosions and hairpin turns and sweet moves, but only a temporary peace is established…. until…. The Sequel!

I believe one Man did make a difference, once and for all. And He not only changed the exterior, but more importantly, the interior realms of the human heart. After all, that’s where all of this wickedness is stemming from, isn’t it?

No external structure can save us, let’s face it. No economic stimulus is strong enough to stimulate the heart to Goodness. That takes a certain kind of grace. And no Democrat or Republican can save us either, not even one born “on Krypton.” (hmmm, that may explain why he’s so out of touch with things on earth). It’s not a machine or a mechanism or a mortal man that can save us. This job of redemption must be done by the God-Man, Jesus Christ. If sin is an assault on Infinite Love, then it will take an Infinite Love to repair the breach. And Jesus is Infinite Love. He is Divinity united to Humanity. He is, as Pope John Paul II out it, “the human face of God and the Divine face of Man.”

These events of Holy Week are both ancient history and present to us at the same time. They are history, and hisstory, and herstory. How is this possible? How is it that the Church in Her liturgy can dwell in a kind of Eternal Now for these three days? The answer is wrapped in the Mystery of the Man Who was God enfleshed; in this God Who gave us His flesh in the Eucharist to be our food, to be one with us, and to give us that grace that can finally change our hearts.

“This is my body, given up for you.”

Pope recently said that this Week of Weeks “offers us the opportunity to be immersed in the central events of Redemption, to relive the Paschal Mystery, the great mystery of the faith.”

From the Garden of Gethsemane to the hill of Calvary, every step and every drop of precious blood had an infinite merit. And it would merit us greatly to receive its value. The door is open now, the first steps have been taken, and even now He is about to embrace that Cross anew for us, in His timeless act of unselfish love. And in every unselfish act of ours, every moment we become a gift for others, united to Him, we can lighten that load; ease that weight. So let’s walk with Him now, like Simon, like Veronica, like John, and Mary, and the countless saints and mystics of ages past.

May His Passion find its sequel in us.

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Our Amazing Grace

I’ve shared about our story of adoption, both with our baby boy (so new and so beloved to us), and of our little ones over the last few years, 12 of whom went to God before ever seeing the light of day. I’m so happy to say that, for a short while, Little 13 saw that light.

Baby Grace Elizabeth came to us early on Sunday, the feast of the Epiphany and of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton (we think Gracie planned it that way). We waited, praying, while the c-section proceeded. Someone sneezed and we all whispered “God bless you.” And the doctor said “That was Grace.” What a way to come into the world! Blessed in her very first seconds.

She cried and squeezed our fingers, she turned her fragile head towards the light more than once. I baptized her with water from a tiny cup and we prayed, not knowing how long she would live in her condition. Then she fought for 10 hours before going back to God. She gave up her spirit just after the Angelus bells at 6pm.

For how this day unfolded in the plan of Our Father, we could not have asked for more. We had the tremendous blessing of family, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins around her, hugging and kissing her all day. Photographs and videos were taken, our pastor came and blessed her, and a dear friend from Maryland came too; he and his wife having lost their own precious daughter at birth, and truly knowing our pain.

We sang “Amazing Grace,” we prayed together, and Gracie met her big brother too. We wept, wishing she could stay, but at the end of the day we had a sense that she was going. Family left the room after saying their goodbyes, (over 20 people who had shared time with Grace), and then in our dimly lit room, Rebecca, S., Grace and I huddled up. We kissed her and sang hymns, and prayed some more. S. rested peacefully beside his sister for an hour, allowing his parents the grace to cherish every breath Grace took. For an hour, a holy hour, we kept vigil. And then she went home, and now she is whole.

We are so thankful for all of the prayers of people near and far. Messages have come literally from all over. What does this mean? That life is precious, that one little life so fragile and so fair as Grace’s can have such an impact on our hearts. Grace Elizabeth lived just 10 hours but filled our hearts with enough memories for a lifetime. Every little move she made was magic.

We have truly felt “carried” this week by so much love and support. So now, from the hospital, we’re just resting, reflecting, and praying. God has been with us at the foot of this Cross; on it in fact with Grace, we believe. We prayed for one miracle and got so much more…. “grace upon grace.”

Grace Elizabeth Donaghy
Born – January 4, 2009, 8:04am
Died – January 4, 2009, 6:08pm

Baptized, Beloved, and Beautiful. We will NEVER forget you, our little saint. Rest now in your Father’s arms. Love you forever, Mommy, Daddy, and your big brother S.

“Every human life is sacred, because every human person is sacred.”

– Pope John Paul II

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Read all the posts on Grace’s Story
Listen to Rebecca’s Song for Grace
Embryo Adoption
Amazing Grace

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Pio, Something Smells!

PREAMBLE: Before we even begin today’s reflections, I have something to smell you, I mean tell you. One of the coolest things about Padre Pio and the way God likes to work lies in the acclaimed “odor of sanctity” that often follows the holy ones. Yes, believe it or not, when God allows miracles to pour forth from His beloved saints, they are sometimes associated with fragrances. Therese is roses, and Padre Pio is often known by the scent of… tobacco. This to me is beyond awesome. Tobacco…. brilliant.

“For those who believe, no explanation is necessary. For those who do not believe, no explanation is possible.”

Today the Church celebrates the Feast Day of one of her most beloved and most misunderstood sons… St. Pio of Pietrelcina. Born on May 25, 1887, he died on this day in 1968, and today is still affectionately known as Padre Pio.

I say he was misunderstood, but more accurately I mean missed. This is simply because so much attention was given to the miracles that Jesus let flow through his hands that many missed the simple truth of who he was; a quiet man of extreme austerity who praised, loved and served Jesus and the Church passionately his whole life.

He hated the attention the miracles brought. It’s like the image of a man pointing to food and the dog stares at the finger instead. “Look at the food, not my finger!” I think that was perhaps his greatest cross in life. People coming to him looking for some fireworks or a show, or to cut a piece of his robe as a souvenir… yes, they did. They did it to St. Francis of Assisi too. Heck, they did this to Jesus! And perhaps I should stop saying “they” – we do too.

“God, give me a sign! Prove Yourself to me!”

Well, maybe our intentions aren’t always that extreme. We just want recognition or affirmation, right? Maybe something merely tangible is all. And the funny thing is, God is quite willing at times to oblige! Wasn’t everybody flocking to Jesus for cures, and didn’t he cure many bodies? The woman with an illness of 38 years came to Jesus in a crowd of starstruck followers and she said “If I could just touch the hem of his garment, that would be enough.” And she was right, it was enough. But for Jesus, as for his followers like Padre Pio, the enough wasn’t enough until he got both body and soul, mind and heart. In a word all of us.

So why did God allow so many miracles through St. Pio’s stigmatized hands in 1950’s and 60’s? Maybe He will use anything and everything when the timing is right to get our attention? What follows is an excerpt from EWTN’s special section on St. Pio for today’s feast. Let’s celebrate the extraordinary wonders of God today, and wonder how we can become more like Him in our often ordinary daily life.

Bilocation and Odor of Sanctity
The phenomenon of bilocation is one of the most remarkable gifts attributed to Padre Pio. His appearances on various of the continents are attested by numerous eye witnesses, who either saw him or smelled the odors characteristically associated with his presence, described by some as roses and by others as tobacco. The phenomenon of odor (sometimes called the odor of sanctity) is itself well established in Padre Pio’s case. The odor was especially strong from the blood coming from his wounds. Investigation showed that he used absolutely no fragrances or anything that could produce these odors. The odors often occurred when people called upon his intercession in prayer and continue to this day. Among the most remarkable of the documented cases of bilocation was the Padre’s appearance in the air over San Giovanni Rotondo during World War II. While southern Italy remained in Nazi hands American bombers were given the job of attacking the city of San Giovanni Rotondo. However, when they appeared over the city and prepared to unload their munitions a brown-robed friar appeared before their aircraft. All attempts to release the bombs failed. In this way Padre Pio kept his promise to the citizens that their town would be spared. Later on, when an American airbase was established at Foggia a few miles away, one of the pilots of this incident visited the friary and found to his surprise the little friar he had seen in the air that day over San Giovanni. As to how Padre Pio with God’s help accomplished such feats, the closest he ever came to an explanation of bilocation was to say that it occurred “by an extension of his personality.”
– (visit here for full article)

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Fire and Freedom

Before His gaze all falsehood melts away. This encounter with Him, as it burns us, transforms and frees us, allowing us to become truly ourselves… His gaze, the touch of His heart heals us through an undeniably painful transformation “as through fire”. But it is a blessed pain, in which the holy power of His love sears through us like a flame, enabling us to become totally ourselves and thus totally of God.
– Pope Benedict XVI, Spe Salvi

I love the Pope. I love this challenging invitation from the Holy Father, a man anointed and appointed by the Holy Spirit to guide and govern the Church on earth. And though this invitation speaks of great pain, I take the greatest comfort from these “burning” words of his, because…

1. I know they are true, and
2. He has the courage to tell us this truth.

Christianity is not a sugar-coated religion, an escape, or a crutch. It is not unrealistic, or naive. It is standing arms outstretched in the midst of scorching winds; it is stepping into the white hot furnace where the three young man danced before an evil king of this world in the Old Testament. It is a New Testament. It is a test, it is our testimony…. a blessed pain, in which the holy power of His love sears through us like a flame, enabling us to become totally ourselves and thus totally of God.

And as a dear professor of theology once told me, “Everything that happened to Jesus must happen to us.” So when we find ourselves in this fire of sorrow, then we find ourselves in the best of company.

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

Amazing Grace

An update on our Snowflakes adoption story….

We had another ultrasound this week, and our baby’s condition has not changed since the diagnosis of acrania. We’re still holding out for our miracle, through the prayerful intercession of Pope John Paul II, because nothing is impossible with God. And what our baby needs is the impossible. Bone where there is no bone; a total and complete healing.

We did receive a tremendous blessing, though, in coming to discover the baby’s sex. So we welcome to the world, though still hidden in the womb, our little girl, Grace Elizabeth.

And she is a dancer. In our 22nd week, the images seem so clear. She came waltzing out of the murky shadows of the ultrasound screen, in a dimly lit room at the perinatal testing center. We could see her hands waving, the bones of her tiny fingers, her heart pounding strong and fast. When the technician, Janene, said “It’s a girl,” I felt such a swell of emotion. Coming to know someone’s name has a power in it. It’s a privilege actually. And now it strikes me as so much more personal than before… We have a little girl… and we will always have a little girl. Sixteen years from now, come what may, we’ll be celebrating her birthday. We’ll speak of her, dream of her, talk to her, and if the miracle doesn’t come (though in a certain sense it is here already) we’ll ask her to wait for us in Heaven. And we’ll all look forward to meeting her in that Perfect Place where everything is whole and every tear is wiped away.

But here below, this new knowledge is a two-edged sword; even as it helps us cut through a section of the sadness by our naming and knowing our little girl, it tears at us because we must consider all ends; we might have to say goodbye just as we say hello. I know it’s not by coincidence that we found this all out on the Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. Feasts of Mary and the saints have been curiously aligned with our visits and appointments throughout the past couple of years. A comfort on this way of the Cross.

Grace Elizabeth…. be strong, be whole, be healed. We love and wait for you. Keep dancing in your watery world as we treasure every second of this journey.

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org

10,000 Years

When we’ve been here ten thousand years Bright shining as the sun. We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise Than when we’ve first begun. – Amazing Grace

When I was in college seminary, our rector gave a homily that I’ve never forgotten. Well, at least the line I’ll quote today. I remember it so well because I thought it was goofy when I first heard it. Really goofy. And I think he said the line three times.

We all thought it was goofy, and had a good laugh afterwards (wasn’t that very Christian of us?), thinking it was one of those “how not to preach” moments to keep in mind, should we be called all the way to ordination. But now, years later, having left those studies and discerned this beautiful vocation to marriage, having experienced so many joys and sorrows already that Life has spilled out before us, watching five fast years unfold like delicate wrapping paper from each “present” moment, the phrase from that homily has come back to me.

“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”

That was it. Want to hear it again? OK. “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” You can sort of put your inflection anywhere, which is fun. For example, “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” Though, personally, I think I like “The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” This sentence, of course, begs the question: What is the “main thing”?

Right now, it’s easier for me to see than ever. In the midst of the fires of our sorrow, of possibly losing our unborn child, all the plans, desires, dreams, worries and wants of a lifetime just melt away, like paper tossed onto a burning wood. What matters most? The main thing is life with God in it; with God all around it, surrounding it… because this life and this suffering make no sense without Him. Honestly, this suffering makes no sense with Him.

I think suffering falls sometimes without rhyme or reason; it can be random and reckless. Sometimes we bring it on ourselves, it’s the friction caused by the scraping of sin in the world against God’s original dream for us. But mostly I think it’s the fallout or aftershock of that rebellion, sending rippling waves throughout the universe. “Thorns and thistles grew,” nature rocks and rolls and reeks havoc, from the macro to the micro, the physical and the spiritual, and even into the tiny cells of a little baby that should be healthy and whole.

I don’t know what it is keeping me afloat. I’m not angry at the world or God. I’m just in a white-hot furnace of sorrow. Barring a miracle, our baby will die. This is insane and this is burning us. I’m not carrying the baby, but I’m doing my best to carry Rebecca and the baby. I don’t know what to say. But I know God isn’t doing it to us. It’s not His fault. It’s not our fault.

His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” Jesus answered, “Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.
– John 9

The main thing, it seems to me, is a life with God in it. The kind of God Who Himself entered into this mess, bore suffering to the extreme, and redeemed it. He tells us to carry on, the way He did unto the Cross itself. The main thing is for us to know we need God. We pray that this suffering might end in a miraculous healing so that the works of God might be made visible through our baby. We are fervently praying for this. But in it all, I remember the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Love is here, burning us in sorrow. But in 10,000 years this sorrow will have passed, have been redeemed, transformed. In eternity we pray that we will be surrounded by the beautiful little ones we’ve adopted and lost. And the destiny of our 13th little child, who soon will be given a name, we don’t yet know. We live in hope for life here and now, to have the grace to walk a little life through the beauty and the brokenness of this world, and we hope for life in its fullness in the world to come for all of us.

I must keep alive in myself the desire for my true country, which I shall not find till after death; I must never let it get snowed under or turned aside; I must make it the main object of life to press on to that other country and to help others to do the same.
– C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Pope John Paul II, intercede for us.

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Inspiration for the New Evangelization
http://www.missionmoment.org